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wishful rayne..ing
  1. 28


    it’s weird that after all these years complaining on here about how henry and i are.. just in two separate worlds. that one day i can say that our worlds are finally one… but the funny thing this, it just feels like we’re still on separate worlds.

    but then again, when will i ever say that everything is okay. lol but on the lighter side if i were to say that everything is fine and dandy. then the world is just full of fluffy clouds and rainbows (: i have my henry, finally after all these years of tryna figure out if it was really worth tryna chase for him throughout my high school and college years

    yep, thats my random rant for the first half of the year.
    until next time!


  2. 22

    I have work in two hours.
    I need sleep.
    Sleep is for the weak.
    You make me weak.

    It’s little interruptions like those during the night that make my lack of sleep worth it.

  3. 23

    Medical School…

    makes me wonder why I put myself in so much stress.  So many changes, variables, lessons, reactions, solutions.. Coming from pediatrics into an emphasis in cardiology is a hella huge difference. Now I’m starting to go into pediatric cardiology. AH! I feel my head spinning my heart racing. All these emotions, but I guess that’s a good thing… After leaving Davis, I felt like I wasn’t going anywhere. Just working the many shifts I placed into World Market, in the emergency room, and into the inventory world. I’m finally seeing a shift in my future. Finally seeing the success I was hoping for when I first graduated from high school. After all that struggle with myself and with my family, I now see a brighter future. It was tough with both parents getting sick at the same time. I felt so useless. I tried to help as much as I can financially, but now I see the security—that safety net. I guess all this stress is worth it. I’m coming close to the end, where I take that exam. That exam that will not only certify me, but register me. The exam that will open so many opportunities not only for myself, but for my family as well. To the family that is alive and here with me and to the family that may come and begin one day. Such a different tone in my post. Yekno… I like that. Looking back at my posts, I see all the negativity. However, with negativity, there’s always a shine of positiveness; just need to know where to find it. And that’s my random recap of whats been going on, It’s nice to genuinely feel happy.

  4. 979682


    (via ernani)

  5. 2

    medical school (:

    starts next week!

    Where in the world did the years go? Undergrad flew by and honestly I can’t remember Grad school. It just happened that quick. Now it’s the moment of truth. Med School… this is the real test so see if I fit in the medical field. I have the field that I’m going into already, but damn. I’m starting to feel even more pressure. Looking back at all the years of tears, sweat, and lack of sleep (and missing strands of hair, dark circles around my eyes, and years of age adding onto my face… lolol) I gotta stay on this med-train, right? I’ve come too far to back off now. Maybe I’m just having cold feet. This is really happening. Sigh, anyways.. that’s my random rant.

  6. 5

    It’s interesting how there’s someone who obviously wants to be with me and loves every thing about me but I’m in… like? Love? Crush.. with someone else. These past four years with wondering “what if” with him has been crazy. And the weird part, there’s not need to wonder — I know. I know his thoughts, I know his feelings, I know him better than he knows his own self. And that goes same with him to me. But I also know his.. game. Sigh. Always setting myself up for a heart break. A friend of mine always questions my decision then blames himself for introducing us the summer after senior year. But life is a learning process, so when will I ever learn?

    Anyways, I’m outs.
    Gotta get ready for work.

  7. 25

    another long rant.. this time about how i sprained my wrist….

    and dislocated the screw that keeps my wrist together..
    so what do i do? i go on tumblr… lol

    crazy customer at work decides that she’s going to drop a 10 pound cast iron skillet vertically onto my wrist.. omgosh, i wanted to die at that moment.. there was so much pain that i just wanted the world to just freeze so the pain can too.. well after 4 hours, i decided that i was going to finally go into the ER.. i wasnt going to because i can feel that my managers really didnt want to do an injury report because we’ve been in the no danger zone for years.. but i didnt have the money or insurance in general to see the doctor on my own…

    anyways that customer didnt even apologize to me.. she asked me if i as okay then slowly started to back away… she returned the next day surprised to see me at work lol she brought her stuff up to me at the counter then realized who i was and saw my arm.. slowly walked away and proceeded to the next cashier =___= a coworker was saying she was prolly worried that she was going to get my other wrist, lol…well during that saturday that i was still working with a trash bag that had ice in it and napkins that were wrapped around my wrist and taped onto it.. a doctor run in asking about making a return. she immediately noticed my trash bagged tapped up wrist and asked me what happened.. i explained the situation to her while i was still tryna hold back tears.. another customer over heard and offered me motrin… but uhm, i dont take medicine in general anyways.. iono about taking it from a stranger. i thanked her but declined her medicine. well that doctor went off  her merry way…

    finally towards the end of my shift, i just couldnt take it anymore. everyone was already telling me to go to the doctors because it looked like i was blinded by my own tears that i was tryna hold back. so i gave in.. i went into the office and filed in for an injury report… managers NOT happy at all.. i can tell that they just wanted to tell me to continue to put ice on it and just take medicine.. i drove to the hospital and realized how much pain i really was in.. T__T i  got into the ER and was taken care of. i was taken to the back for triage and the nurse touched my wrist that instantly brought crocodile tears down my face. and that doctor recognized me and explained to the other doctors and nurses what happened to me. i was then shortly taken in for xrays and a long 4 hour visit sitting in the ER .-.

    good news nothing broken :]
    bad news needa put the screw back into place.
    SO that means another surgery to get that all situated and another month in a wrist brace. SIGH.

    mkay, thats my rant.

  8. 20

    So it’s been a while….

    and once again tumblr has changed… posting is a pop up thing. uhm… has it really been that long? that’s crazy. anywho, what’s been going on? good question. a lot. then again, when is there ever a time in my life where my life doesn’t have “a lot going on” honestly, it’s the same stuff that’s going on. my parents are still sick, i’m still working three jobs to support myself and help my parents out a bit.. and of course my “boy drama”… what’s my life without drama that doesn’t involved the …. boys… in my life. other than that, life has been good.. i’m still alive and functioning (kinda). however i do wish that i have my own place again. living with my sisters is just… too much. i need to find my own.. quiet time. late nights like these are pretty much the only time i get to have to myself. but during times like these i should be getting rest, since i still dont get much sleep. its official. i’m a vampire. lolol anyways enough of my rant. i really should atempt to sleep.

  9. 6

    This upcoming Lent…

    My sister asked me what I was planning on giving up on.. there was nothing that I can think of until I was sitting down at work writing how much alcohol I was going to buy this Thursday.. it was almost freaking $150 for FOUR freaking people.. hell no. Then it clicked. I’ll give up alcohol. Psh, Alex shot down that possibility so fast. Such a non-believer, ahaha. Eh, maybe I’ll be able to this one. It’s not like I drink every week.. just whenever there’s a 21th birthday.. but now everyone’s 21. so no more drinking hard for a while. anywho. just thought i’d randomly post.

    and ugh, there are unread messages on my old phone and i cant even open it to see who they’re from -__- this is what i get for breaking my phone like days before Christmas then JUST NOW getting a phone. ohwell. mk outs.

  10. 26

    new phone!

    FINALLY. i can see that i have unread messages.. but i cant open them. i see the first few words on the inbox review… but that’s all. so yeah, its time for a new phone :] can’t wait to chose it tomorrow.

    new hair cut
    new car
    new phone
    new… year

    yekno, even though the only time i ever log on here is to complain about something.. this year has been good. despite all of the “bad horrible” things that i only write about, there has been a lot of wonderful things from this year. and i hope that next year will be even better

Story of my life

lets see what to say...

double majoring in
minoring in
at a University of California

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